Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happily Attached

We were an AP (attachment parenting) family before I knew the term. We just did what felt right for us. I held Princess all the time. I sure wish I had known about slings and other wraps back then. It would have saved my arms and my back.

I occasionally received criticism for this choice. In fact, one day, a stranger told me that the reason Princess didn't crawl was because I held her too much. I wish I could have seen her a few months later, because Princess walked at 10 1/2 months.

We hadn't intended to co-sleep before Princess was born, but that is what we did from the moment she was born. Yes, she slept on me in the hospital. We should have skipped the crib purchase and spent the money on the glider/rocker.

Princess is 5 1/2 and we still co-sleep. We will continue until she is ready to move into her own room. It works well for us. I often turn to look at her and just watch her sleep, amazed at how beautiful she is and I feel so blessed that she is my daughter.


15 comments:

Frau said...

Probably non of my business but when do you have "sexy time" if your daughter is sleeping with you everynight? Just wondering ???

Kelly said...

We held Violet constantly as an infant. We never carried her around in a plastic car seat either. I used a sling when I needed my hands free. She never crawled and walked at 10.5 months after standing on her own for three months. The co-sleeping we did ended at 18 months because she kicked. I realized she was fighting for her own space and we got her a bed. The crib that was bought for us NEVER got slept in.

Oh, and as for "sexy time" (as Frau put it), that's what the living room couch is for.

Rooster X said...

Our crib ended up as a laundry holder.

Lisa said...

Oh this post brought tears to my eyes! We too are co-sleepers. Fauna didn't crawl either, but was a 10 month old walker. I wish people would stop judging and just get on with their own lives.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I say whatever works for you.

Shady Lady said...

It's interesting that these in-arms babes walked early and didn't crawl. Hmmmm...

I'm glad I was able to touch a few of you out there. :)

Co-sleeping definitely works for us. And Frau, when you co-sleep you just have to get a little creative. We have lots of "oh good, she's watching a movie" or when she's fast asleep we can go in the living room in front of the fireplace. It actually keeps things interesting. ;)

Shady Lady said...

Rooster X, I wish I would have thought of that one. I could have put it to good use. Our crib just got dusty.

Fiona said...

I'm a whatever works kinda gal.... I need my space when i sleep but I often crawl into bed to cuddle with my babies. I love to listen to their peaceful breathing...

dongdong said...

I am with Fiona. We started with putting kids in cribs when they are infants but now they are older (5 and 6), they all like to sleep with me. So they fall asleep on my bed and we move them back to their own beds. I think they feel more secure falling asleep with me. But I can't sleep with them the whole night. I would not get any sleep.

I also agree with Lisa (sweet Lisa)....I wish people would stop judging and get on with their own lives.

Rachel said...

I have never considered myself an AP kinda mom, but I hold Sylvie constantly, she's still not crawling at 9 months, she nurses every few hours still and sleeps with me every night (as she did in the hospital, too.)

I hope to have her out my bed before age 5, but thanks for letting me know this is all okay, Shady Lady!!! I get comments like that, too.

Shady Lady said...

As Princess grew we needed our space, too. We were in a queen size bed and it was getting very uncomfortable. We upgraded to a king. I know other families with more than one child who have wall to wall beds to accomodate the larger family and try for some space. Of course, Princess and LK generally end up right up against me.

Rachel, welcome home! Sounds like you are an AP mom. ;)

dongdong, thanks for stopping by and commenting. I agree that children feel may feel more secure falling asleep with a parent.

It's important to do what works for all members of a family.

Sweet dreams everyone!

t.t. millers said...

We had a basanet (sp) for our boys. My husband is a 6'2" 250lb man and I barely had any room for me, let alone a baby too! At nap time, when hubby wasn't home, baby slept with me. I agree with Fiona and Secret Mom ~ Whatever works for you is what is right! Just because someone does it different, doesn't make it wrong! ;-)

Shady Lady said...

I wholeheartedly agree that co-sleeping isn't for everyone. Each family needs to find what works best for them. I have many friends who co-sleep and many who don't. It's all good! :)

Sara said...

We have very similar stories. I never really considered myself AP, although looking back I was. We too did what felt right and still do. My 5 1/2 year old boy sleeps with us for half the night and I love it.

Anonymous said...

I have to admit that I've never considered myself an AP parent but all three of my kids co-slept. We never had cribs although I did have a bassinet I rolled around the house with me (a bad back kept me from holding them 24/7). It was hard when family came to visit though since my youngest, even though she was actually in her own bed by age 5, needed me to lay down with her until she actually fell asleep until she was 7. She just needed me there to relax enough to sleep, which sometimes took an hour or two. My dad would comment, in a not so positive way, about this whenever he came to visit. But I'm glad I did it because she is now a very happy emotionally healthy independent 8 yo. She just needed time to grow into herself, as all kids do. Some do it at birth and some don't do it until they are teens but none are "wrong". Besides they all grow up too fast anyway so we should enjoy them while we can.

Glad your back is better. There are two things I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy: migraines or chronic back pain. :(

Gina