Dysfunctional Relationships Revisited

A while back I shared a bit about the deterioration of my relationship with my father and step-mother here and here.

I have a private family blog where I update everyone on the happenings in our life. When my father received the blog post in his email that Lizard King was going to Afghanistan he emailed me and said:

Mom and I are quite shocked by this email. Despite our differences, our hearts go out to all of you. This must have been an excruciating decision. In our varied travels, we have met men who were contractors working in Iraq and they seemed quite happy and told us that they did not feel unsafe; and, the money was great!!! If you would like to talk, all we want from you is a sincere apology for what we perceive as your disrespecting us and the rest will be forgiven. In your blog, you do not mention if 'Lizard King' will be working in a safe zone. No amount of money is worth risking his life by putting himself in jeopardy. But, we're sure that you have considered all of that in your deliberations. Again, all we want from you is an apology, but understand, we will not be disrespected. We are your parents and at this point, at our age, we are too old to start changing. You have to accept us the way we are.

At that point in time I couldn't even begin to deal with this. I told them that and also said that I couldn't tell them how much time I might need. They told me they would be patient. Well, as you know, things changed and LK is in South Carolina. Still it is a difficult situation and I am having a hard time. I didn't want them to think I was blowing them off so I emailed this morning. I told him that I was sorry for keeping him waiting so long. I told him that I was a little afraid (which he took to mean that I was afraid of him, but I meant that I was afraid of things going back to the way they were). I asked him to be patient.

He called me as soon as he read the email. We talked for about 40 minutes. I said a lot of things that I needed to say and did so respectfully.

I have also decided that I need to address issues as they happen. Sometimes I'm so shocked by their behavior that I don't even know what to say. This is something that I need to work on.

I am very hesitant and extremely cautious. I cannot go back to the way things were. I really didn't want to deal with this right now, but I guess I don't have a choice anymore. I wonder how this will all play out. I suppose only time will tell.