Friday, January 23, 2009

Dysfunctional Relationships

How do you change a seriously dysfunctional relationship when said relationship has been dysfunctional for 44 years (a.k.a. my whole life)? In my past I ended the relationship with my mother because I was not willing to accept her abuse. That was twenty years ago. I have no regrets.

It took me a long time to realize that my relationship with my father and stepmother is just as dysfunctional. This has become even more painfully obvious with our recent trip to Disney. I finally sat down and wrote them a letter last night. I received a response this morning. I could feel my blood pressure rise as I read the response and I was shaking I was so angry.

I forwarded both emails to my dearest friends (Freckle and HerbiFaery) for their perspective. They had some wonderful things to say. I need to stop allowing him to treat me like a child. I need to stop allowing him to manipulate me and exert his power over me with regard to money. I have a lot of thinking to do. I have two wonderful friends and a wonderful husband (who will be home from his business trip this afternoon) to support me and help me navigate my way through this.

Things are different now than with my mother because I have a child now. The question is this. Is it important to maintain the relationship for her sake or end it for her sake?

3 comments:

suchlovelyfreckle said...

Well, I have a ton of things to say to you. ;) And I'll say them all this afternoon. Okay, so I'll let you talk a bit too. I believe we can fix this. I really do.

Rachel said...

Okay, I don't know enough to give you any specific advice, but I hope you can come to some kind of resolution you can be satisfied with, for your sake and your daughter's. Good luck.

Shady Lady said...

Freckle, thanks for this afternoon. It really was great and yes, we can fix this.

Rachel, I appreciate any and all positive energy sent my way. Thanks for you kind wishes. :)