Wednesday, June 17, 2009


I have been a little out of touch lately. I haven’t been blogging and I haven’t been reading. We have had a huge decision to make and have spent the last week doing so. You all may remember the evil ex-wife. We have been looking forward to the time that the alimony ends. At this point we’ve still got another year. Once the alimony is paid, we still have to dig ourselves out of the hole the giant alimony payment has left us.

We also have a huge IRS payment to whittle down because, although we have to hold up our end of the divorce agreement, she did not hold up her end. She was to sign two tax returns so that they could be re-filed and save the Lizard King (LK) a butt-load of money in taxes. She agreed to it in the divorce, but then refused to follow through. Eventually, we cut of the alimony unless she signed the papers. She finally signed them. Unfortunately, we learned that there is a statute of limitations for refiling tax returns and we were beyond it. So yes, we have this giant payment as well.

You might also remember that LK got laid off at the end of May. With the economy being what it is, finding a job was not proving to be an easy task.

You may also remember the wishing tree. It seems that I should have been a lot more specific when sending my wishes out to the universe. I wished for a six figure job that LK would love. I asked for abundance. I asked for financial freedom.

LK texted me last week and asked if I wanted to go out to dinner that evening. I don’t know how, but I knew something was up. At dinner he asked me if I remembered the company who contacted him months ago. They had locations in Canada and Afghanistan. At the time I looked at him and told him that he would work in Afghanistan over my dead body. That was the end of that.

What he didn’t tell me (until last week) was that the company had offered him a job in Afghanistan making A LOT of money. It was in an unsafe zone. He turned it down. They told him that there would be other things coming up and that they would get back to him. He figured they were just blowing smoke and forgot about it.

They contacted him last week and offered him a supervisor position. And they doubled the salary. We were floored. It is a one year contract. Work three months, take 2 weeks off to come home.

I can’t even begin to tell you how difficult it was to make this decision. We went back and forth hundreds of times a day. Even after making the decision we want to change our minds, but we know that LK going to Afghanistan is the best decision for our family. The year will be difficult, but our lives will be changed. We can pay off the evil ex-wife, we can pay off the taxes, we can pay off the credit cards, we can buy a house, we can put money away for retirement, LK can stop working two jobs and breaking his back doing construction. We can breathe.

My heart aches when I think about him being gone so long. We haven’t told Princess yet and I am so dreading that conversation. She is so close with LK. This is going to break her heart.

My friends are rallying around me. They are here for me, supporting me, as is my sister. I am grateful to everyone who is here to support me and Princess. They are how we will get through the next year. LK leaves on July 11th. That is just too soon. And I am just so sad.


Frau said...

I'm sorry that is a tough decision but a good one in the end. A year will go by so fast, and the trade off is good. Hang in there!

Aliceson said...

Hang in there Shady Lady. I know this wasn't an easy decision but it's one of those situations where you do what you have to do. Thank goodness for good friends and family!

Kelly said...


Godspeed Lizard King!

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

What a tough decision! It is good you have good friends and family to help. The year will go by faster than you think.

Sherry said...

Oh man, what an incredibly tough decision! Hang in there. I'm so glad you have good friends and family nearby to help you through it.

t.t. millers said...

Oh my goodness, what a horrible sacrifice he has to make. But totally understandable. Keep on blogging! I'm glad you have alot of friends and support! I'm here for you!!!

Zayna said...

First, let me say that I just love that photo of you guys...beautiful!

Next, I send big cyber-hugs to you.

It's something that's come up for us - the option for Hubby working far away - and I can attest to what a tough decision it is.

We've been fortunate though that so far (fingers crossed) we were never in such dire straights that we had to seriously consider it.

I know on this side of things a year feels like forever but in the grand scheme of a life together, it's not that long.

So glad to know that you have lots of support.

Keep us posted. :)

Shady Lady said...

Thank you everyone for your comments. You all are a big help in getting through the next year.

Lisa said...

Wow, the universe works in such weird ways. What a horribly hard decision and I can't believe how soon he will be leaving.

Oh, little Princess....that is going to be so hard on her, getting a 5yo to understand such decisions can't be an easy matter either (especially when she is the sentimental type that gets upset over selling a car; she sounds just like Fauna). I send you my best with this.

I'm sending positive vibes and energy to you and your beautiful family.


Momma Bear said...

Oh My. Where the hell have I been??? I totally missed this post. I cannot believe this. Good but scary and lonely I would imagine.