Monday, May 25, 2009

Swimsuits

The Bantering Blonde posted here about swimsuit shopping. Head on over and check her out. She is a total crack up! Yet again, my comment turned into something more of a blog post, so here I am. I know it's Gardening Monday, but I'll talk about that later. I hope you don't mind.

Going out on a limb here and sharing that I am a size 10. I tried the board shorts thing and evidently, my thighs and ass are too freakishly large for women's board shorts...at least the board shorts at the Portland Swim Company or whatever it's called. I bought men's board shorts because we were leaving for Florida (back in January). I hate them. They aren't anything even resembling cute.

Then there is the top. My boobs are not that insanely huge, yet I can't seem to find a swimsuit that will contain them. Of course if I wanted a bikini it wouldn't be a problem, but nobody wants to see this tummy. I'm 44 AND I've had a child. I've got more rolls than I care to count. Let's just keep the tummy under wraps, thank you very much.

Why is it so difficult to find an underwire tankini top that's larger than a C-cup? I would love a one piece that can contain the "twins" with a skirt that actually serves a purpose. Why do the skirts always hit "right there" at the perfect spot to accentuate the bulge on my outer thigh? Or the skirt is all clingy so it hugs all the wrong spots.

I have this idea in my head for a swimsuit and in my head it looks awesome. It's feminine and flirty and fun. With all the women who have swimsuit issues someone could make a fortune on this. Don't you think? If only I could sew, I would make one for myself. *sigh*

7 comments:

Aliceson said...

I hate swimsuit shopping with a purple passion. I usually wear a bikini but I think I'm getting too old and flabby for that, if you know what I mean. Even though I'm the same weight I was before children, things seemed to have shifted, and not in a good way.

Frau said...

OMG you are singing my song girl. Lands End has cute suits and you can get a d cup and underwire.
Hey be happy I only wish I was a size 10. I like the skirted tankini's.Good luck and have a great day.

skyewriter said...

Ugh. I had to buy beachwear for our honeymoon last summer-- how depressing.

Land's End had some cute stuff last year.

I would love to see your design. Any sketches?

Banteringblonde said...

I hear ya sista!! I'm thinking burlap sack ...

Shady Lady said...

See?! There are a lot of us out there who need a knew design in swimsuits. Along with the lack of sewing ability come the lack of drawing ability. I can draw you a picture with words. The skirt is just a little longer and looser so it has a bit of a flow to it (think twirling skirt, but not quite so much). The top, of course, has underwire for the big guns (hey Skye, there's another gun ;) and obviously both pieces hold the tummy in. There. Do you have a visual. Run with it. Create it. Take the credit. But SEND ME ONE! Black bottom and a pretty print top...or a black top would be fine too. Thanks!

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I totally sympathize. i hate swimsuit shopping too. Lands End tends to have better skirts for swimsuits.

Shady Lady said...

I was looking at Land's End online. It looks promising as long as the skirts aren't too tight. I hate shopping online for clothes, so I may have to head over to Sears sometime soon. Thanks for the rec from everyone!!