There are many reasons why a woman waits until later in life to have a baby. Zayna and I got into a little discussion on her blog the other day and where I commented that it wasn't my choice to wait until 38 to have a child. She inquired as to what happened. I decided it was a better blog post than a comment, so here I am!
As long as I can remember I have wanted a child. I have always dreamed of becoming a mother and breaking the cycle of abuse. I went through a ton of therapy and continue to work on myself, aspiring to be the best mom I can be.
At age 34 I finally gave up waiting for Mr. Right to come along. At that point, I had been dating about half my life with no prospects, only bad relationship after bad relationship. I decided that I was done with that. No more dating for me AND I was going to have a child on my own.
I did a lot of research. I joined Single Mother by Choice, a support group for women who intentionally choose to become a single mom. I researched sperm banks and fertility clinics. I made my choices. I purchased sperm and began intra-uterine insemination (IUI), knowing I would get pregnant quickly. That didn't happen.
For six months I went through IUIs with no drugs, with clomid, with injectable drugs. I went through various procedures. I had surgery to check and see what was going on in there. After six months of perfectly timed inseminations, I was still not pregnant. Each month was heartbreaking.
Then I met the Lizard King. Neither of us had intentions of dating or getting involved. We were friends for a long time, but I never shared what I was doing. One day LK kissed me and everything changed in that instant. When I saw that things were getting serious I thought I'd better tell him what I was doing. He was amazingly supportive. That last insemination was unsuccessful as well.
At this point LK and I were pretty serious and I decided to stop the inseminations. Time went by and we got engaged and then married. We tried to get pregnant, but nothing happened. We went to the fertility clinic to get checked out. He was fine. I was not. They told us that without a donor egg, my chances of a viable pregnancy was 1%. The cost? $15,000 with no guarantee. There was no way we could afford this.
I cried. A lot. Finally, I accepted that I would never have a child. Four months later, at age 38, I was pregnant.
So that's the story of why I "waited" until my late thirties to have a child. There are pros and cons to having a child later in life, but I wouldn't change it for the world. I am so very blessed to have my sweet Princess.