Monday, March 16, 2009

Substitutions

When Princess was born, my husband and I began to change the way we speak. It was probably easier for him than for me because my sweet husband has always monitored the way he speaks in front of women, feeling that foul language was disrespectful. Old fashioned, I know and if you saw my husband you wouldn't expect that. His mama did a good job raising him.

It was harder for me because, well, I had a foul mouth. Well, it wasn't as bad as it used to be when I was in my wild child days, but still it wasn't the way we wanted to speak in front of Princess. We made the adjustment, but there were times when it was absolutely necessary to use such words. For those times, we resorted to spelling.

One day a few years back, while having a phone conversation with a friend, she shared some shocking news. My response? Holy C - A - R - P! To which my husband and sister responded in hysterics. They went on to make various fish exclamations like "oh smelt" and "flounder you". Well "carp" stuck. Let's hear a resounding "Holy Carp!

14 comments:

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Holy carp. I think I may start using that. Cute.

Aliceson said...

Holy Carp! In our house the substitute is "oh crickets." Much easier than spelling, yet gets the point across.

HerbiFaery said...

This story still makes me chuckle. And I've heard it at least three times.

Evonne said...

Trip Goddess here, Holy Carp...will have to give it a try but will be hard to change BAD halibuts...............HA

HerbiFaery said...

Evonne, you always make me LMAO

skyewriter said...

We are going to have to get a swear jar when we finally have kids.

I'm much worse than my husband, so I'm going to be the only one contributing regularly.

Anyone watch Big Love? Their linguistic "swerves" away from swear words are a riot!

These were great, too, Shady Lady.

"Oh smelt": I'm going to use that one soon...

Anonymous said...

Loved this story! You know it's bad when your preteen and teen resort to "carp" right along with you lol. My 14 yo finds it particularly funny since he has a touch of dyslexia and c*ap often comes out as carp in his emails anyway. Thanks for today's chuckle lol. Love the fish theme of your substitutions!!!
Gina

PS It's amazing how once you stop teaching and/or your children get older you revert right back to your swear like a sailor days lol.

Kelly said...

My go-to kid friendly curse is MOTHER BUNNY! I don't swear a lot, but when I do I tend to bring out the big guns. When said with the proper inflection, MOTHER BUNNY is nearly as satisfying as the real thing.

Sarah said...

Too funny, Shady Lady! Oh, and I say this with the loving voice of personal experience... if Princess is reading, then your days of spelling words is either already over (and you don't know it) or will be soon. :) One time, someone spelled the name of an extended family member so that the children wouldn't know who was doing what, but within a second we learned that a reading child (who is eavesdropping) is a spelling child who understands all. :)

Such Lovely Freckles said...

LMAO, Shady Lady... and Evonne, you are friggin' hilarious.

Fiona said...

hee hee I had to work pretty hard at it too! My hubby laughs at me he calls it code cursing!

Rooster X said...

We are supposed to censor our speech? Uh oh.

Shady Lady said...

Love the other substitutions! Evonne, you crack me up!! Skyewriter, start now and maybe you'll be over it by the time you have kids. ;)
So Gina, I'm going to end up with a foul mouth again?! Huh...I guess I'm not surprised.
Sarah, yes, we have realized that we are at the end of our spelling days. She can figure out WAY too much. Oh well, it was good while it lasted.
Rooster X, nice to see you again!

Rachel said...

LOL Too funny. And I'm LOL at Evonne, too. My husband and I both swear more than we should. The 'do as we say, not as we do' method is working so far for us. As the kids get older, it will be less important to me. My mom swore like a trucker when I was a kid and I NEVER swore in front of her until I was married!