Friday, February 27, 2009

The Optometrist-Chiropractor Conspiracy

I have developed a new theory. Eye doctors are in cahoots with chiropractors. Sounds weird at first glance, huh? Believe me, it’s true. You see, I am the new owner of a pair of progressive lens sunglasses. Sounds pretty nifty, right? It is not. Trust me.


Notice in the picture that your distance vision is at the top of the lens. Intermediate vision (like to see a computer screen or things at that distance) is in the middle, but not across the whole lens, just in the center – this is important. Finally, near vision is at the bottom of the lens, again, not across the whole lens, just in the center.

The result of having these areas of vision in eyeglasses is that I have turned into a bobble-head doll driving down a bumpy road. I have to move my head all around to find the part of the lens I need to look out to see what I am trying to see. The technician in the eye doctor’s office told me to “point your nose at what I want to look at”. Really? Are you serious?

In order to see distance while driving I have to drop my head down to look out the top portion of the lens. And heaven forbid I have to use my side view mirrors. Keep in mind they are lower, so I have to look down to be able to access the correct area of vision (intermediate) to see in my side view mirrors. Not only that, I have to completely turn my head because the way the lenses are designed I have no peripheral vision.

They insist I try them for two weeks and if I still don’t like them they will switch the lenses out for bifocals. I have placed the glasses in the lovely case they came in and there they will sit until the two week trial period is up. As for all the trial and error with these glasses, they have left me with a big pain in the neck. I guess it’s time to call the chiropractor.

11 comments:

Sarah said...

Would contact lenses work for you? My glasses are a bit like that and my contacts are far more comfortable (and far less annoying).

Shady Lady said...

I used to wear contacts years ago and loved them. When I stopped working, my eyes got better. Then I started "working" on the computer again and they got worse.

I tried contact lenses then, about a year ago. It totally messed with my near/intermediate vision. I would love to wear contacts again, but I couldn't deal with the vision that results.

The doctor thinks my issue is mostly eye strain. If I got off the computer it would get better again. Somehow, I don't see that happening. ;)

skyewriter said...

You poor dear.

I have to admit I giggled a little at your description of driving like a bobble head :).

Shady Lady said...

I'm glad you giggled! I was trying to be funny... =)

Such Lovely Freckles said...

Oh, my poor Shady Lady. Or should I call you Bobble Head from now on? ;)

Shady Lady said...

Freckle, don't even try it.

Rachel said...

OMG it's making me dizzy just reading about it. I think I'd rather be blind!!!

I am picturing a Shady Lady bobblehead on my desk!

Shady Lady said...

A Shady Lady bobble head doll! Ooh! I want one!

Aliceson said...

A Shady Lady bobble head, does that come with a pair of crappy progressive glasses?

Shady Lady said...

Okay, you guys are totally cracking me up!!! Aliceson, ROFL!!

Such Lovely Freckles said...

Bobblehead, Bobblehead... LOL... I almost wrote Booblehead. Muahahaha!!!